Al Bundy, from the satirical, “Married with Children,” didn’t crave intimacy in his marriage. He had a very energetic libido, but he was not one for pillow talk with his wife, Peg.

Archie Bunker was another insensitive husband from TV. He was great at wrinkling up his nose and changing the subject if his wife ever got close to coaxing his feelings out of him.

Not all husbands, or wives for that matter, avoid verbal intimacy. There is always a time and place for everything. Al and Archie would say that time is “way down the future.”

Over time, one or the other might find focusing on the marriage relationship a little uncomfortable.  Focusing on the marriage relationship takes practice, patience and persistence because there are so many dynamics.

Many couples spend time with their married best friends, attend workshops for couples, and enjoy time in front of good movies at home and in theaters. They do everything together and are happy doing so.

Others are busy with children, gargantuan careers and even personal issues that take valuable time away from the relationship. Some have all this and more going on. The marriage can and must be balanced.

One thing that couples can do for themselves on a regular basis is to attend church or temple together. This isn’t to “get religion” or to join the “pious on parade.” Going to church together is about improving your relationship with the most important person in your life, your partner!

What can going to church do for couples? 

- Be still together. Couples sit together at restaurants, movies and eventually physician waiting rooms. However, few places lend themselves to hand-holding better than quality time at church!

- Sing together. Couples are often found in karaoke bars and some love singing together in cars. It is fun to sing worship songs and old hymns with harmony at church. Most church music is loud enough that even a mediocre singer can enjoy the experience. 

- Listen together. There will be agreement and disagreement, because people have different opinions. Hopefully, the church will focus on couples and their needs and if the church doesn’t, look for another that does. There is divine wisdom for every relationship available!

- Meet other couples together. Spend some time with couples you enjoy and want to be more like. Discover and avoid couples you know you never want to become. Many churches have sports & classes for couples that are engaging and healthy.

- Pray together. Pray for your partner. Pray that you become your best. Not everyone has the same religious background, beliefs or relationship with God, but it would be great if couples would make faith important.

- Talk together. Discuss from time to time what you feel, what you believe, and what you envision for your future together. The more couples understand how God loves, the more deeply individuals can understand and love each other

Over time, one or the other might find focusing on the marriage relationship a little uncomfortable.  Focusing on the marriage relationship takes practice, patience and persistence. Do everything possible to make it great!