When one has suffered the loss of a spouse or endured the hassle of a divorce, the words “I will never get married again” are usually spoken. Death and divorce are painful experiences that truly never want to be experienced again. Avoiding a subsequent marriage is the obvious way to prevent this pain from happening.

Now, reality check. There are millions of subsequent marriages that sneak-up on people making them say things like “I wasn’t looking for anyone” or “how could I resist this love?” Maybe this is happening to you right now!

If you are planning your second marriage or have been living like Elizabeth Taylor with multiple partners for the past fifty years, congratulations on your decision to be married...again!

While most religious faiths consider divorce and/or remarriage a category of sin, each faith does have a formula for forgiveness and relieving any long-term guilt. Some religions have devised financial punishment to get rid of the guilt and others make it as simple as asking one’s higher power to forgive and it is done. Everyone wants their marriage to last forever, but all marriages end in death or divorce and everyone has the opportunity to move on to another special relationship.

Another marriage is especially nice to plan if you had your mother’s dream wedding the first time. Most mothers start planning their daughter’s wedding the day she is born. It will be bigger and better than what was thrust upon her by her mother. Generations of girls have their dream wedding the second time.

Here’s an eye-opener on etiquette. If your father “gave you away” at your first wedding, doesn’t your ex-husband need to ”give you away” this time? Please laugh now! 

In reality, a subsequent marriage, after some maturing, is usually more meaningful than the first.  One knows what works and what doesn’t. Negative baggage from previous relationships (even with caretaker parents) can be left behind as every day brings a new beginning to this special relationship.

If the first spouse turned out to be a real jerk, remember, you chose to marry this person and share some of the responsibility for the choice. Don’t repeat history by tolerating this same kind of behavior in another person. By all means, change the things you can...you can only change yourself and your choices. And no, it was not your fault he turned out to be a jerk!

If children are involved, be careful. Do not let them get lost in the relationship. Establish a proper relationship between the child and the new spouse. Whoever invented step-parenting did not take into account that every child has only two parents. Two parents were the original design and the only design that works. 

New partners can be best friends with the children, but unless adopted, will never be a parent. By communicating that early in the relationship it will prevent a child from pointing a finger and screaming, “You’re not my parent!” Reply simply, “No I am not, but I am your mother’s husband (or father’s wife) and we have rules in our house.

Most succeeding weddings are paid for by the bride and groom. Here’s a chance to go “all out” or get married on the cheap. 

If you are considering getting married on “the cheap,” consider what statement this is making. “We don’t have enough money to do it right,” or, “the wedding doesn’t mean very much to us,” could be excuses for rushing a relationship that has not grown to a responsible level.

The wedding industry wants you to go all out. The wedding industry in Arizona really knows how to put on a lavish and socially fulfilling wedding. With Arizona’s reputation for great venues, fabulous entertainers and talented designers, this is the right state for any number of walks down the aisle.

If you have found a new love and everything is right, go for it! If you said, “I’ll never get married again” and are actually getting married again, you are among millions of people that truly believe in marriage. Marriage is sacred. Marriage is honorable. Marriage is great when you marry the right person.