Welcome to Arizona Wedding Packages Blog

42 Years Older Than Me and I Still Love Her

Phil Waring — Sat, 11 Feb 2012 14:32:30 GMT

When I met Arizona, she was 65 and I was only 22. I actually meet coy couples wanting to get married with the same age difference once in a while.

Growing up in Northwest Indiana, we watched The Cubs on Chicago television. The TV station ran commercials during the games for land sales in Toltec, Arizona; I imagine because The Cubs had been in The Cactus League since about 1952.

Toltec was described as the epicenter of the giant metropolis that would some day combine Phoenix with Tucson. It hasn't happened yet, but the region may someday accommodate Decades, a world-class chronological music-themed amusement park.

In any case, the beautifully filmed TV commercials of Arizona's rugged beauty planted a seed in my mind. They showed the Grand Canyon, Sedona, Tucson, Avondale and Picacho Peak painted in her glorious spring flowers (although we only had a black and white TV). However, Toltec never quite took off.

On a cold 1977 winter's night I had just finished working a visitation at the Illinois funeral home in which I lived and was working my way through Bible College. The funeral home was on a huge corner with 1000 feet of sidewalks, so I shoveled and swept snow nearly every waking/snowing hour.

Thoroughly exhausted that night, I prayed, "Lord, I will serve you and be a minister if you'll find a church for me where it does not snow."

In two weeks I was offered an Associate Minister position on Lincoln Drive in Phoenix, by Harpist David Ice's father (Chairman of the church board). Mr. Ice asked me how much money I wanted. I asked for $400 per month. He shook his head and said they could not pay that amount, but would I consider taking $650?

Professionally officiating weddings started when the Arizona Biltmore asked me to

perform a destination wedding for an out-of-town couple. Pleased with my ceremony, the hotel asked me to print some "Arizona Ministers" business cards for them.

Weddings have taken me on nearly a one-million mile drive through this "last of the 48" to join the continental United States.

Celebrating the most important day of their lives, more than 10,000 couples have asked me to join them at the Grand Canyon, on top of The Praying Monk, the side of Meteor Crater and on the edge of cliffs on Schenbly Hill.

Weddings have been at homes, parks, resorts, in trains, in a limo on South Mountain

on a rainy night, and in a jet circling the San Francisco Peaks at 20,000 feet on 02-02-02.

Weddings have taken place at Chase Field, Firebird Raceway, Taco Bell, Barrett-Jackson, The Phoenix Open, Geordie Hormel's and on top of what was once The Valley National Bank. There have been four to 38,000 people in attendance at all these weddings.

I've married celebrities and under-celebrated people. The one thing they all had in common was their love for each other and their love for Arizona.

Valentine's Day 2012: Arizona turns 100. I have loved her for 35 years.

THE HANDS YOU DREAMED OF HOLDING

Phil Waring — Sat, 23 Jul 2011 13:49:46 GMT

We always want to look our best at weddings. Gwen and I took two slow July weeks off to have some “work” done. Wedding photographer, Jeff Colling, jokingly accused us of hiding away for plastic surgery. We think he was joking.

We both had hand surgery and with minimal vanity, thought we would avoid the awkwardness of clients visualizing us wearing bandages at their weddings.

GWEN’S HANDS

Gwen went in for the first of her two carpel tunnel surgeries scheduled this summer. She was the first to suggest taking time off to heal before meeting couples or performing weddings.

The surgery was uneventful, Gwen has been a great patient and in a matter of weeks we will repeat the whole thing. She won’t scare anyone with Frankenstein hands.

PHIL’S HANDS

I have used SPF 15 or better every day since 1980. My fair skin has always been susceptible to Arizona’s beautiful weather, so I visit a dermatologist annually.

In spite of years of slathering sunscreen on my face and back of my neck, the doctor found some suspicious cells. The tops of my ears, the bridge of my nose and one cheek had abnormal cells that could be destroyed by freezing them with liquid nitrogen, or cryosurgery. It burns the skin, leaves a blister for ten days, but it could prevent skin cancer. Was so glad Gwen needed two weeks off so she would be the only one seeing my spotted head.

Suddenly, the doctor’s visit took a turn. He said, “Put out your hands,” and pointed out nine spots of abnormal tissue on the backs of my hands. Not only would my head be “out of service,” but my hands were going to look bad as well. I never thought about protecting my hands.

WEDDING VENDOR HANDS

I use this blog to get wedding vendors’ attention about the Arizona Sun. We all know to apply sunscreen on our heads. But don’t forget to protect your hands. And remember, when you wash your hands they are unprotected and need sunscreen applied again.

With face furrowing, expanding forehead and uncomfortable waistline in place, I could use a lot of work. But from now on, I am going to protect my hands outdoors, and hope you do too!

Arizona Wedding Awards

Phil Waring — Wed, 11 May 2011 15:58:00 GMT

Academy Awards, Golden Globes, Grammys, Emmys, Sag Awards, Independent Spirit Awards, Guild Awards, Critics Awards and Tonys. There sure are a lot of awards.

There is also no shortage of groups of insecure people needing awards to flatter themselves, including the wedding industry. The term “wedding industry” is in and of itself, disturbing enough. Since when is doing a great job and being known for it, not enough?

Consider that an award winner is usually different than a contest winner. Most awards are bestowed by a panel of accredited judges to recognize excellence in a given field. The award’s value depends upon the status of the awarder, so always consider the source.

Most contests are won openly like a horse race or American Idol. Competitors are staged fairly side-by-side, results are measured and verified, and there are tangible prizes like cash or trophies.

However, when a contest is conducted in secret without open competition, the value is subjective at best. A list of “winners” is published and many heads shake, the competition knowing better than the contest results show. A number of blind votes is not any proof of quality or character, possibly just how many friends and family a wedding vendor can get to vote for them.

Once again, consider the source. The award for these wedding publication popularity contests is usually more advertising and exposure.

In a related situation twenty years ago, it became a known fact that the largest group of people reading the church ads in newspapers were the ministers and their spouses. In fact, church advertising was so lucrative that... well, it wasn’t. They finally discovered their actual audience. When was the last time you saw a page of ads for churches in a periodical?

Popularity contests in the wedding milieu are designed to keep the advertisers engaged, not the public. Publishers depend upon advertisers to read the ads, compare themselves to others, and as a result, spend more.

Perhaps the largest group of readers of wedding ads is wedding advertisers and their spouses. Writer Dave Barry pointed out in The Miami Herald, that wedding ads drive the cost of weddings higher as competitors merely try to keep up with each other.

There is already enough competition without meaningless popularity contests. Why not have a real contest, a staged throw down, or an old fashion debate? A blind popularity contest is less than a compliment to the larger wedding industry community.

The wedding industry could offer an award for the volume of happy couples served over many years, for the creativity displayed while doing so, and from the people inspired by one’s sincerity. Give an award for proven leadership, influence or heroism, but not for popularity or just doing one’s job.

(This article’s writer knows he probably won’t win any more contests, but he does promise to keep providing the same level of service he has the past 30 years. Right now, ArizonaWeddingList.com maintains the nominees for any sensible wedding competition, including designated “legends” of the Arizona wedding service community.)

Inclusive Wedding Ceremonies

Phil Waring — Tue, 01 Mar 2011 14:42:00 GMT

Arizona Ministers like to help make everyone feel at ease and welcome during wedding ceremonies. Engaging the guests, attendants, parents, children, and of course, the bride and groom, allows everyone to feel included and important.

There are many ways to make wedding ceremonies inclusive.

Have mom stand with dad & daughter at the presentation of the bride. The image of both parents presenting their daughter for marriage is a once in a lifetime event and priceless. We find most mothers are pleasantly surprised by being invited to stand a little closer to their daughters at this important time.

Make sure the officiant is personable and caring enough to consider others. The officiant shouldn't have a lectern, microphone stands, books or shuffling pages of notes to be read, between himself and the couple. While a hug from the minister is unlikely during the ceremony, a personable ceremony should be officiated only a short embrace away.

A wedding ceremony should not be treated like a classroom experience with a lecturer. The ceremony is no place to teach lessons or take notes for that matter. The officiant should speak to the bride and groom... not talk over them. He should talk about them, not just about marriage, responsibility, duty, etc. A play is not performed by people reading scripts, and wedding ceremonies should not be performed reading from binders.

Recognize other friends or relatives important to the relationship. It's always nice to mention when parents or grandparents have celebrated significant milestone anniversaries. To mention the friend or sibling that introduced the couple is sometimes endearing. If the wedding is being broadcast live to relatives and friends on the internet, the bride and groom can take a moment to wave and say 'hello' to them.

The inclusive minister will involve the guests. He can ask for their blessing, provoke applause and recognize any appropriate spontaneity. It takes experience to engage an audience, and an officiant with an inclusive attitude can make it happen.

A second language can be added. If multi-lingual guests are expected to attend, even saying “hello” in someone’s language makes them feel special and included.

Get the minister out of the way. Toward the end of the ceremony he/she can go behind the guests so everyone can see the cake topper the couple has become. Guests love to see the bride and groom's expressions as they are 'pronounced husband and wife' right before they kiss. Plus, the guests are now at an advantage to take their own keepsake photograph of the couple.

 OTHER INCLUSIVE IDEAS

Get out of the gazebo. When a ceremony is celebrated inside, instead of in front of some gazebos, the guests can feel left out or irrelevant. It's fine to enter the gazebo for a candlelighting or such, but to spend the entire ceremony in space separate from the guests is not inclusive.

Have the ceremony in “the round.” From the center of the circle, we slowly turn the couple during the ceremony so everyone has the bride and groom in front of them at some moment. It also enables the photographer to get more of those photojournalistic pictures with lots of the guests included with the bride and groom.

Place wide seating so furthest guest is not that far away. When 3 or 4 chairs on each side are placed 24 rows back, the guests in the back can feel disengaged. If 8 chairs are placed on each side with 7 or 8 rows total, the farthest guest is much closer.

Add a responsive reading that the guests can recite. Scripture, a poem or even a relevant excerpt from literature can be read back and forth by the officiant and the guests. Again, involvement makes a wedding inclusive.

Avoid using a microphone if there are fewer than 60 guests. It actually puts space between the officiant and any readers and the guests. Like radio commercials and annoying announcements, some people simply turn off their listening when someone uses a microphone.

Event Professionals Team Work

Phil Waring — Sat, 12 Feb 2011 14:02:00 GMT

Here's an amazing event we will be part of in February. We're giving away a free wedding ceremony as part of the project. Here are all of the details. We hope to see you there!

PHOENIX – January 3, 2011 – Engaged couples have yet another reason to celebrate. Tickets are now on sale for the February 23rd, 2011 Brides Give Back event. Brides and grooms are invited to save big on their wedding day expenses by bidding on services donated by the Valley’s top wedding professionals. The big day soiree will take place at the Historic Icehouse in downtown Phoenix and will benefit Save the Family Foundation of Arizona, a local charity helping homeless families get back on their feet.

The cocktail party auction will offer brides and grooms the opportunity to sip champagne, mingle with Phoenix’s luxury wedding professionals, and bid on everything from photography to florals. Couples who attended the last Brides Give Back event secured wedding day essentials at as little as 30 percent of retail value, with all proceeds directly benefiting families in need. The event will feature musical entertainment, silent and live auctions, and cake samples galore.

For more details or to purchase tickets, visit www.bridesgiveback.com. Following the social entrepreneurship trend, all ticket sales and 100% of net proceeds benefit Save the Family.

Brides Give Back began in 2009. In it’s first year, the auction of more than $30,000 worth of donated goods and services helped to provide a night of shelter for 77 victims of domestic abuse.

About Save the Family

Save the Family has been serving homeless families with children for more than 20 years. Founded in 1988, Save the Family was created to help homeless families become self-sufficient. On the net: www.savethefamily.org/

www.bridesgiveback.com - 480.219.8067 - info@bridesgiveback.com

Photojournalistic Minister

Phil Waring — Sun, 29 Aug 2010 02:27:29 GMT

The first time I was asked to officiate a wedding with my back to the guests was awful. That proximity, so close to the bride and groom, blocked several people from seeing the couple throughout the entire ceremony. Remarks that I made about the guests' love and support were diminished because I wasn't looking at them. It was very confusing to many.

A lot of Rabbis officiate the ceremony that way. They block the bride and groom's view from several guests, but that's their tradition.

Having always used my peripheral vision to accommodate photographers, I have come up with a solution for the bride and groom that want to face their guests during the ceremony. I subtly turn the bride and groom throughout the ceremony. They are photographed at each end of the aisle with anticipation, diagonally at the presentation of the bride, facing me during my short talk about marriage relationships, and sometimes behind the unity table with candles or sand.

Finally, at the end of the ceremony I causally make my way around the guests to stand in the middle of the aisle behind the guests, not blocking a soul. With the bride and groom facing their guests like a cake topper, I wrap up the ceremony, pronounce them "husband and wife," and everyone gets to see their expressions right before the nuptial kiss. It creates a great variety of photographs to be remembered for years to come.

Click on the photo, it's by Fred Ferguson.

Why I Cut My Hair

Phil Waring — Sat, 31 Jul 2010 21:40:00 GMT

(Click on Photo)

Have to admit I was appalled the first time I heard this. Seems when someone does not know a judge or member of the clergy that can perform their wedding, the first thing they consider is appearance.

What about credentials? Experience? Sincerity? Articulation? Reputation? None of these matter more than what the minister looks like. Had to think hard and long before I could actually agree with it.

One might overlook appearance from time to time. No hair, deep wrinkles, and thick glasses might not be a deal breaker. However, stray eyebrows, bad breath or a suit covered with cat hair is not what a couple wants to experience during their marriage celebration. A Stonebridge Manor Wedding Consultant once asked me, "Do all ministers have dandruff?" Straining my peripheral vision catching a glimpse of my shoulder I replied, "No."

Some time ago Gwen's physician referred her to an associate to consult for her back pain. The physician mentioned that the associate was a little bit different than most, which did not prepare her for the appointment. Imagine her surprise to meet the new doctor in Birkenstocks, polyester capris that did not contain her mass, and matted hair flying in every direction. The doctor, appearing very unprofessional, did not exude confidence.

VESTIS VIRUM REDDIT. "Clothes make the man," was authoritatively orated by Marcus Fabius Quintillianus not quite 2000 years ago. With respect to Mr. Eddie Fischer, I learned this lesson first in 7th Grade Latin Class, that appearance means everything.

Now that wrinkles (furrows) are finding a permanent place on my face, my hair is turning white, and my eyes are not as good as they used to be, I try to pay attention to my appearance in earnest. My clothes fit, I still don't have dandruff and I am neurotic about those stray nose and ear hairs.

So, why did I cut my hair? I have applied my hair-spray helmet thousands and thousands of times so my hair would not wreck a couple's wedding photo. A few weeks back I had the epiphany that if I would just buzz my hair I could save thousands on hair spray and could drive down the freeway with my windows open.

Please help me out if you see something out of place on me (that I can or should do something about).

Bridal Happy Hour

Phil Waring — Fri, 21 May 2010 14:27:04 GMT

5000 or more feet above Phoenix' Valley Floor, Flagstaff is cool, calm and thanks to one special person, collected. That person is Dana Micklos, creator of The Bridal Happy Hour.

Dana has arranged for Arizona's finest wedding services to assemble in Flagstaff so brides can mingle and hopefully "click" with their venue, vendors and more. It's a relaxing happy hour to discuss ideas, brainstorm and enjoy the company of discerning brides and carefully selected vendors.

Click on the link above and discover the possibilities of having your wedding in Flagstaff, or at least meeting your vendors there! There's not a better way to plan your wedding than The Bridal Happy Hour.

Arizona Ministers will meet couples in the Phoenix Valley if it is more convenient.

The Who Said of the Greatest Magnitude

Phil Waring — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 16:12:00 GMT

Judges are just people. Because of their training and experience, they are either elected or institutionally appointed to serve as judges. Judges consider the law, weigh the facts and make decisions. Finally, they speak the words, "innocent," "guilty," "granted," or "denied." Their word is usually final, unless there is a valid appeal.

Ministers are just people. Because of their training and experience, they are institutionally appointed to serve as clergy. Ministers consider the law, weigh the facts and make decisions. Finally, they speak the words, "I pronounce you..." and their word is usually final. Once "pronounced" husband and wife, only death or divorce can dissolve the contract.

A community college professor used to say that "judges and ministers are the who said of the greatest magnitude." While ministers and judges are just people, their very words seal the future of countless individuals.

Minister Phillip Waring Profile by Patti Zint, The Wedding Chronicle

Phil Waring — Thu, 27 Aug 2009 15:19:00 GMT

You just have to love Phil Waring. An unlikely cross between Jeff Foxworthy and Joel Osteen, Phil offers both quick wit and genuine acceptance. Precociously certain he could make marriage ceremonies into true celebrations after attending a somber service at the age of ten, he set up a crate and box altar in his family garage to practice conducting weddings. His performance is now perfect.

Winner of The Wedding Chronicle Reader’s Poll six years in a row, inductee into The Wedding Chronicle Hall of Fame, and pastor of Chapel Bellavista, Phil is uniquely dedicated to each and every couple he marries. “I offer authenticity, credibility and a profound appreciation for the individuality of their relationship,” he states. Comments from clients range from surprise that it “felt like you were actually talking to us” to “incredibly impressed that every word you spoke was truly about us and not a canned ceremony” to “Wow!”

“I’m glad to be at the age where I can treat every couple like they are my own children.” To this end, Phil gets to know his clients, spending time both listening and asking questions. His goal is to stay relevant to each particular couple, conducting a thorough interview for significant details about their lives and relationship to use in creating a ceremony especially for them. No two weddings are exactly alike if officiated by Phil Waring. “It’s all I ever wanted to do. I love it, and I love the people to be surprised by how much they enjoy it!” His most challenging weddings are those involving celebrities where their relationships are somewhat public. “In that case I want to find the relevant surprise in their relationship, something no one knows about them, to make their ceremony fresh and new.”

“I’m the minister who always shows up sober with his own teeth and hair,” Phil deadpans with a twinkle of mischief. “I always try to answer the phone and most of the time I work outdoors,” he grins, referring to the lovely desert gardens of Chapel Bellavista, a church charted by Phil and his wife of eleven years, Gwen, also a minister. “Gwen is an incredible minister! Professional people always seek her sound wisdom.” Together, they are the founders of Arizona Ministers, serving couples through marriage counseling, providing quality pastors for wedding ceremonies plus references to other wedding vendors, and opening Chapel Bellavista for worship and intimate wedding services.

Asked to name someone who has influenced and encouraged him both personally and professionally, Phil smiles. “Besides Gwen, that would be George Burnette. He has shown interest and been supportive of me in every area of my life.” An impish grin suggests more than a few pranks between friends.

Phil provides premarital counseling even if he’s not the wedding officiate. “No strings attached,” he quips, and “having marriage counseling indicates a willingness to improve the relationship.” About Covenant marriages, Phil states, “I’ve never met a couple on a crapshoot. A wedding isn’t a gamble. Anything that is done for the relationship is good to consider.”

Also good to consider is Phil Waring as your wedding minister. “I don’t mind going the second mile for my clients. These are relationships, and they’re worth it."

Photo by Arizona Wedding Studio

Ceremony of the Golden Cords

Phil Waring — Fri, 02 Jan 2009 16:52:00 GMT

The Golden Cord Ceremony usually takes place after the exchange of rings in the wedding ceremony.

"Today I have a gift for you, three beautiful golden cords. They represent the three most important entities here today, you two and the loving God who made you and brought you together.

"One of the great things about rope, is that when you tie it in a knot, the knot becomes the strongest part of the rope. You know I came here to tie the knot... (minister grins as he ties three cords into a knot, and then asks the bride and groom to hold each side of the cords). King Solomon wrote that "a cord of three strands is not easily broken."

"Pull this knot tight! That knot is a little like your marriage. If you pull too hard, wriggle it around, put it in a place of constant friction or pick at it, it might get loose or actually come undone. The knot I tied here today is like your marriage... beautiful, strong, tight and we all hope eternal.

"Keep that knot someplace visible in your home so you can be reminded of the strength of your love on your wedding day. Your hearts are now tied together in love, devotion and trust, with the strength of three."

Photo: Fotos by Flint

Sense of Humor

Phil Waring — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 11:02:22 GMT

Years ago I officiated a wedding ceremony in Mesa. At the time, this was "the" place to be married in The East Valley. They offered gorgeous gardens, splahing fountains and Arizona's Favorite Minister.

There were about 40 people present when everyone came to their feet to welcome the bride. She walked down the aisle eight months pregnant in a taupe mini dress! (Similar to Britney Spears' above, but my bride's dress was much tighter and shorter).

When asked, "Who brings this woman to be married to this man?" her father answered, "Well, I'm her Pa and that there's her Ma, and all of us down at the trailer court brung her." No one could get their breath for five minutes.

Our Marriage License Service

Phil Waring — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 10:08:00 GMT

Every couple has to personally obtain a marriage license in Arizona. Pay any county $98.50, raise you right hand, swear you are not cousins and the license is yours. That fee provides you with a certified copy of the officially recorded marriage license stub (required to change the bride's name at Social Security & Department of Motor Vehicles).

Some county employees do not like to make change. A marriage license without ordering a certified copy is $72 even. Later, in order to legally change your name, you have to write or call to order your certified copy, and pay $26.50 more for the certificate. That's $98.50! Pay it at the same time and you'll get the certified copy in the mail in six to eight weeks.

State Law mandates that Officiants are responsible for recording the marriage license stub after the ceremony. Most counties provide a pre-addressed envelope for it to be mailed.

For decades I have been hand delivering the local Maricopa County marriage license stubs. Why transfer the responsibility from the State, to the County and then to the Federal Post Office?

Marriage license stubs from other counties are mailed in with receipt verification requested. We have never lost a single one!

Judy from the U.K. called me the other day and said she needed a certified copy of her license stub from her 2001 wedding. She had waited years to update her passport with her new name!

When she called Maricopa County, they said they did not have any record of her or her husband's names. In a panic, she called me and kindly asked if I had actually recorded the license stub.

This has happened many times before and I am delighted to help. After I made two 31 mile trips to the Maricopa County recorders office and back, it was as if they were never married. There were no computer or paper records with their names on them anywhere. I couldn't bear to tell this couple such news!

So, I called Pima County. Pinal County. Coconino County. When I called Yavapai County they said, "Sure we have it. It was recorded here in Prescott in 2001." Mission Accomplished.

Another couple was whisking into Scottsdale to elope from Chicago. On Monday before the Saturday wedding they called to say they had failed to obtain an Arizona marriage license and that they discovered their plane was arriving after the county office closed on Friday.

Mohave County Marriage License Clerks rock. They are the only Arizona County that will accommodate a couple by providing a marriage license by mail . I called them to explain the problem and we came up with a solution.

Through the magic of the internet, overnight mail and my willingness to drive to Kingman, Arizona to pick up the couple's marriage license, Mojave County would let me have it on Thursday!

On the way home I called Gwen and told her, "Mission Accomplished" and that I was surely going to see a glorious thunderstorm on my way home. It was August and the monsoon was looming. Headed south on I-17 I was pummeled with softball size hail. No good deed goes unpunished! It's all a part of our service.

Amazing Sunset

Phil Waring — Wed, 06 Aug 2008 18:55:00 GMT

This amazing sunset was captured by George Burnette at Chapel Bellavista. They were in the parking lot and this shot was taken facing east, so you can imagine the entire sky!

The Most Beautiful Wedding

Phil Waring — Wed, 06 Aug 2008 18:21:00 GMT

Every bride dreams of her beautiful wedding and the very moment her groom sees her in the ceremony aisle. It is that moment and more. It’s not one vision or moment that makes the wedding beautiful, but a combination of thoughts, sights sounds and scents.

Consider all the elements. The time of your ceremony may be morning or sunset, inside or out, perfect weather, nice-fitting dress, gorgeous location, and the darling flower girl. Your 90-minute massage, manicured nails, coiffed hair & professional make up have made you stress-free and you are glowing.

Some believe the most expensive elements must be the finest. Going overboard to create a beautiful wedding is common. Beautiful flowers, beautiful favors, beautiful seat covers, beautiful photos, and beautiful bridesmaids dresses make for, well, a beautiful, and sometimes costly wedding.

What makes a beautifulwedding, truly beautiful? It’s your relationship.

This isn’t just the bride’s day; it’s the bride and groom’s day. The most important thing on your beautiful wedding day is what you two have cooking! Your relationship is truly the “beauty” that will enable you “let go” of a stressful wedding planning season and remember that nothing has to ruin it. This is why people are coming to your wedding.

Webster says beautiful is “having qualities that delight the senses, especially the sense of sight.” If you lay eyes on, that is, meet and greet just twice a day for 50 years, that’s going to be 36,500 beautiful encounters with the one you truly love.

It’s about making eye contact in the ceremony aisle for the first time, and the rest of your life, knowing what your heart feels is real beauty.

Photo by Arizona Wedding Studio

Subsequent Walk Down the Aisle

Phil Waring — Sat, 12 Apr 2008 14:46:00 GMT

When one has suffered the loss of a spouse or endured the hassle of a divorce, the words “I will never get married again” are usually spoken. Death and divorce are painful experiences that truly never want to be experienced again. Avoiding a subsequent marriage is the obvious way to prevent this pain from happening.

Now, reality check. There are millions of subsequent marriages that sneak-up on people making them say things like “I wasn’t looking for anyone” or “how could I resist this love?” Maybe this is happening to you right now!

If you are planning your second marriage or have been living like Elizabeth Taylor with multiple partners for the past fifty years, congratulations on your decision to be married...again!

While most religious faiths consider divorce and/or remarriage a category of sin, each faith does have a formula for forgiveness and relieving any long-term guilt. Some religions have devised financial punishment to get rid of the guilt and others make it as simple as asking one’s higher power to forgive and it is done. Everyone wants their marriage to last forever, but all marriages end in death or divorce and everyone has the opportunity to move on to another special relationship.

Another marriage is especially nice to plan if you had your mother’s dream wedding the first time. Most mothers start planning their daughter’s wedding the day she is born. It will be bigger and better than what was thrust upon her by her mother. Generations of girls have their dream wedding the second time.

Here’s an eye-opener on etiquette. If your father “gave you away” at your first wedding, doesn’t your ex-husband need to ”give you away” this time? Please laugh now!

In reality, a subsequent marriage, after some maturing, is usually more meaningful than the first. One knows what works and what doesn’t. Negative baggage from previous relationships (even with caretaker parents) can be left behind as every day brings a new beginning to this special relationship.

If the first spouse turned out to be a real jerk, remember, you chose to marry this person and share some of the responsibility for the choice. Don’t repeat history by tolerating this same kind of behavior in another person. By all means, change the things you can...you can only change yourself and your choices. And no, it was not your fault he turned out to be a jerk!

If children are involved, be careful. Do not let them get lost in the relationship. Establish a proper relationship between the child and the new spouse. Whoever invented step-parenting did not take into account that every child has only two parents. Two parents were the original design and the only design that works.

New partners can be best friends with the children, but unless adopted, will never be a parent. By communicating that early in the relationship it will prevent a child from pointing a finger and screaming, “You’re not my parent!” Reply simply, “No I am not, but I am your mother’s husband (or father’s wife) and we have rules in our house.

Most succeeding weddings are paid for by the bride and groom. Here’s a chance to go “all out” or get married on the cheap.

If you are considering getting married on “the cheap,” consider what statement this is making. “We don’t have enough money to do it right,” or, “the wedding doesn’t mean very much to us,” could be excuses for rushing a relationship that has not grown to a responsible level.

The wedding industry wants you to go all out. The wedding industry in Arizona really knows how to put on a lavish and socially fulfilling wedding. With Arizona’s reputation for great venues, fabulous entertainers and talented designers, this is the right state for any number of walks down the aisle.

If you have found a new love and everything is right, go for it! If you said, “I’ll never get married again” and are actually getting married again, you are among millions of people that truly believe in marriage. Marriage is sacred. Marriage is honorable. Marriage is great when you marry the right person.

Photo by A New Concept in Wedding Photography

What Is This Thing Called Love?

Phil Waring — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 16:29:00 GMT

What is this thing called love?
This funny thing called love?
Just who can solve its mystery?
Why should it make a fool of me?

I saw you there one wonderful day
You took my heart and threw it away
That's why I ask the Lord in Heaven above
What is this thing called love?

Cole Porter wrote the lyrics to that old Billie Holiday hit. Since love is driving couples to the altar, what is this thing called love?

Every couple has it’s own description of this thing called love. The first time love is “realized” between two hearts sometimes makes a person totally speechless, unable to say anything. If something is said, it might not even make sense.

In 1 John, toward the back of the New Testament, John says, “God is love.” In fact, that little book talks more about love and what to do with it than any other.

The New Testament was originally written in the very descriptive and meaningful Greek language. Ancient writers used three classic words for love: eros, philia and agape. However, only philia and agape find themselves in the Bible.

Eros is sensual love and passionate. It is usually used in a context of desire and longing. It can be sexual, but is not always, as people have all sorts of passions in life. It was and still is a word often used to describe “love” within dating and marriage relationships.

Philia simply means friendship. It’s love that is shared between close friends and always family members. Philadelphia has always been known as the City of Brotherly Love.

The most frequent word for love in the Bible is agape. The Greeks used it to describe how they felt about one’s spouse or children. It is how Jesus felt about his disciples. It is what Jesus said to do for our enemies. It’s unconditional and sacrificing. It’s paying a price for the feeling. It’s actually the peace plan for the world.

It’s been said that love may be blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener! Every marriage relationship should have a delightful mix of these loving feelings. There are certainly erotic times (eros) and sharing life with your best friend (philia). However, love in the context of marriage is so much bigger than those words.

1 Corinthians 13 is, of course, the timeless chapter of “Love is...” Agape love is the love of long lasting relationships. Agape love is the love of decades of marriage. A price is paid for the pleasure of true love. It is more valuable than anything. It’s something for which we would pay the ultimate price. It is what allows people to live in peace with each other.

What is love? “It's silence when your words would hurt. It's patience when your neighbor's curt. It's deafness when the scandal flows. It's thoughtfulness for another's woes. It's promptness when stern duty calls. It's courage when misfortune falls.” - Anonymous

Photo by Arizona Wedding Studio

Worshipping Together Can Increase Intimacy

Phil Waring — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 16:10:00 GMT

Al Bundy, from the satirical, “Married with Children,” didn’t crave intimacy in his marriage. He had a very energetic libido, but he was not one for pillow talk with his wife, Peg.

Archie Bunker was another insensitive husband from TV. He was great at wrinkling up his nose and changing the subject if his wife ever got close to coaxing his real feelings out of him.

Not all husbands, or wives for that matter, avoid verbal intimacy. There is always a time and place for everything. Al and Archie would say that time is “way down the line.”

Over time, one or the other might find focusing on the marriage relationship a little uncomfortable. Focusing on the marriage relationship takes practice, patience and persistence because there are so many dynamics.

Many couples spend time with their married best friends, attend workshops for couples, and enjoy time in front of good movies at home and in theaters. They do everything together and are happy doing so.

Others are busy with children, gargantuan careers and even personal issues that take valuable time away from the relationship. Some have all this and more going on. The marriage can and must be balanced.

One thing that couples can do for themselves on a regular basis is to attend church or temple together. This isn’t to “get religion” or to join the “pious on parade.” Going to church together is about improving your relationship with the most important person in your life, your partner!

What can going to church do for couples?

- Be still together. Couples sit together at restaurants, movies and eventually physician waiting rooms. However, few places lend themselves to hand-holding better than quality time in church!

- Sing together. Couples are often found in karaoke bars and some love singing together in cars. It is fun to sing worship songs and old hymns with harmony in church. Most church music is loud enough that even a mediocre singer can enjoy the experience.

- Listen together. There will be agreement and disagreement, because people have different opinions. Hopefully, the church will focus on couples and their needs and if the church doesn’t, look for another that does. There is divine wisdom available for every relationship!

- Meet other couples together. Spend some time with couples you enjoy and want to be like. Discover and avoid couples you know you never want to become. Many churches have sports & classes for couples that are engaging and healthy.

- Pray together. Pray for your partner. Pray that you become your best. Not everyone has the same religious background, beliefs or relationship with God, but it would be great if couples would make faith important.

- Talk together. Discuss from time to time what you feel, what you believe, and what you envision for your future together. The more couples understand how God loves, the more deeply individuals can understand and love each other.

Photo by Byron Medina

The Wedding Was Great! Now What?

Phil Waring — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 15:57:00 GMT

People celebrate what’s important. Milestones, usually. Birthdays. Anniversaries. National holidays are celebrated. Various religious holidays are observed by every sect. If it’s not a day-off, it’s a picnic, a festival, a romantic dinner or a party with family and friends, to celebrate what’s important.

Along with annual celebrations, there are occasional, one-time celebrations. Many feel it’s important to celebrate marriage in a beautiful wedding ceremony. New businesses must celebrate their Grand Opening with a celebration to draw attention. Many folks throw a party when they move-in to a new house. Celebrations that celebrate what’s important are a part of all human cultures and are expressed in many traditions.

There are people who skip the celebration. Independence Day may not mean much to new immigrants. Jews usually don’t celebrate Christmas.

Forget a wedding anniversary or the spouse’s birthday and endorphins of burning guilt will surge from the head, slowly to the toes. Picture deer’s eyes in the headlights, if you will.

People celebrate what’s important to them. If a wedding day or a birthday don’t merit some sort of recognition or celebration, it better have been agreed-upon well in advance of that given milestone. Having a calendar or list of important dates to remember must have been suggested before now!

This wedding planning season has nearly come to an end without any casualties. Planning a wedding celebration is a fun, fulfilling, emotional and exciting season. As the wedding planning season closes, the first anniversary planning season is truly something to get excited about!

The first anniversary will celebrate the successes of 365 days of undivided loyalty, devotion, romance, and all the expressions of love combined. It doesn’t have to be in Paris or on a ten-day cruise, but agree upon how to recap the happiness of your first year of marriage.

Realistically, there might be some sad or even bad days in the first year of marriage. Taking time to remember, talk about and share the good times can take the sting out of the more harsh memories. Some couples keep a journal in which each may contribute good memories of any given day. That would be a meaningful must-read for future generations.

The first days of marriage are so important and worthy of celebration in themselves. Ninety-days into a marriage shouldn’t feel anything like Bill Murray’s Groundhog Day. Enthusiasm for the relationship will increase as each partner becomes involved in planning the anniversary with suggestions, ideas and eventually concrete plans for an anniversary celebration worthy of a great relationship like yours.

Thoughtful anniversary celebrations express something that is important to two unique people. Anniversary celebrations express devotion, recognize success, and mark the season of sharing another year of devotion and love together.

Jean-Paul Sartre wrote, “Life has no meaning the moment you lose the illusion of being eternal.” The fact is, as this hectic and exciting wedding season comes to its glorious conclusion, look forward to planning the first of 50 or more years of anniversaries of this ever-so-important date in all of life that everyone wishes could last forever.

Photo by Harrison Hurwitz

Wedding Day Rain - Don't let it get you down! Plan B!

Phil Waring — Fri, 22 Feb 2008 14:38:00 GMT

With rising temperatures, flowers blooming, and tee times a week or more in advance, it’s spring time in Arizona. Winter always seems so short in the desert!

Spring time provokes the sweet aroma of orange blossoms, depending upon where in the valley one lives (sorry allergy sufferers). If fortunate enough to live among Arizona’s great forests, there is no mistaking the natural rich scent of pine trees in the spring.

Spring in the green Arizona desert means the temperature hasn’t achieved the century mark, yet. No wonder couples host their weddings at The Desert Botanical Gardens, The Four Seasons at Troon North, or North Scottsdale’s Chapel Bellavista. They are all located in natural desert locations that are most appreciated in the Spring.

Expect to see desert wild life if your spring wedding is held at Ristorante Sassi, The Boulders, or Troon North Golf Club. Javalina, coyote, and bob cats live among the giant saguaros, canes of brilliant ocotillos, and mounds of colorful prickly pear. Anywhere in Arizona is a beautiful setting for a spring wedding.

Another feature of a spring wedding is water. River beds and washes that are usually dry throughout the year have a good chance of running in the spring.

Not to worry where that water comes from! In spring, the snow that has accumulated in the mountains of Northern Arizona slowly melts and makes it way all the way to the valley floor.

The chambers of commerce around Arizona boast over 300 days of sun shine. Great odds! However, for 2008, that means there could be 66 days of rain (it’s a leap year!). No one wants rain on their wedding day, but it is possible that it will. Most of Arizona is praying for it.

One April, an outdoor ceremony was being performed on the beautiful front lawn of The Wigwam Resort, when the sky completely opened. The black-tie wedding was being doused with buckets of unwanted rain. Not two minutes into the ceremony, the pastor asked the couple what they wanted him to do. The bride shrieked, “Just pronounce us!”
Reality check. It does rain in Arizona! No one wants to hear it, but it must be told. There will be at least 66 days of rain this year and one of them might be your wedding day.

What can be done about it? Plenty! Plan!

Be certain to make a Plan B for an outdoor wedding. If the dreaded rain comes, move the ceremony indoors, stand close under safe cover (not trees), provide umbrellas, or rent a tent with a 72-hour notice of cancellation clause (and stay glued to The Weather Channel).

Make sure the officiant, musicians or DJ, know the details of your Plan B. The ceremony may be abbreviated or some music eliminated. Every part of a great Plan B can be discussed and decided well in advance of the ceremony. Your wedding planner will be helpful!

When planning an outdoor wedding, expect airplanes, traffic noise, birds, wild animals (if hosted on the metropolitan periphery), and perhaps even rain.

Appreciate the drama rain creates. Plan to use the clouds and the beautiful sunset they create for photography. Enjoy the aroma of creosote, that only comes when it rains in the desert.

Rain doesn’t necessarily ruin a wedding day. Not planning ruins it. Life needs a little rain, even if it falls on a wedding day.